GOLFUN ETIQUETTE

Posted on January 31, 2021

Heartfelt intention and pure, inner motivation are the golf etiquette pillars that respect the legendary core values and guiding principles of the game and that display how a golfer chooses to “show up” in the world. Playing golf with a golfer who shows respect for the game and walks the talk of course etiquette, while engaging compassionate concern for others, inspires fun, happy golf and awesome learning experiences during a game that is easy and yet hard to play. As His Holiness the Fourteenth Dalai Lama offers, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion; and if you want yourself to be happy, practice compassion.”

Awareness

• Live the spirit of the game with integrity, be courteous and considerate of others, count all strokes and play by the Rules. Unless stated in local rules or agreed to before teeing off on the first tee, players are not allowed to improve the lie of the ball on fairways or in roughs. Each golfer is on his-her honor to include penalties for grounding the club in sand traps and out-of-bounds, accidently moving the ball and hitting another player’s ball on the putting green.
• Observe golf car movement signs near greens and around the course.

Have Fun

• Prior to teeing off on the first tee: 1) discuss and agree on any special rules for this game—mulligans, strokes given or received and changing to a clean ball on the putting green; and 2) flip a coin or tee for honors on the first tee. Honors on subsequent tees go to the player with the lowest score on the hole just finished. In the event of a tie, honors revert to the winner of the preceding hole.

Heartfelt Compassion

• Avoid standing close to or directly behind the ball when a player is about to play; and do not disturb play by fidgeting, moving, talking, or making unnecessary noise. Noisy electronic devices need to be shut off in the parking lot at the golf course.
• When a player drives a tee shot out-of-bounds, a nice gesture is to invite the player to take a short break, get composed and not play another ball until other players have played. Play safe: warn greens keeping staff who may be in danger and shout “fore” when there is danger of hitting someone. When other golfers are ahead of you wait until they are one full shot ahead before shooting.
• Do not stand on another player’s line-of-putt or directly behind the hole when he-she is making a stroke. When someone else is putting, other players should stand well out of his-her line-of-putt and field of vision; and these golfers should be aware of where shadows are falling: shadows should not be allowed to cross the putter’s line-of-sight and, if possible, should be kept out of his-her peripheral view.
• Always enter and leave sand traps on the low side. Rake footprints and sand divots in bunkers. Replace the rake in the bunker on the side away from the pin with the handle to tee.

Show Gratitude

• Repair divots on tees and in the fairway: a good practice is to use sand-seed mixture to repair divots on tees and fairways.
• Prevent unnecessary green damage. Do not drag, twist, or scuff your golf shoes; place golf bags on the green; pull golf carts on the green; drive golf cars on the green; stand too close to the hole; use club heads to remove the ball from the hole; or lean on clubs on the green or when removing the ball from the cup. Repair green damage caused by golf shoes or ball marks with either a tee or divot tool. When removing the flag stick, carefully lay the pin on the fringe of the green.

Mindfulness

• The player closest to the pin offers to tend the flagstick for other players as they desire. The player whose ball is furthest from the hole putts or shoots first.
• On the green, when closer than other golfers, properly mark your ball with a golf ball marker. Players are on their honor to replace marked balls as precisely as possible. Loose impediments can be removed from your putting line; and fixing ball marks and green damage on the line-of-putt are permissible.

Courtesy

• Wait on the green or green fringe until all players hole out; move away from the green as a group; and record scores on the way to the next hole.

Anger, attachment, envy, pride, and doubt kill good golf shots, create stress for the Self and others, and undermine heartfelt compassion for the Self and others. As we each target for fun and happiness, the mutual challenge is to reduce the impact of destructive potentials and to manifest natural, positive qualities. Hit ‘em high and straight, don’t miss three-foot putts, and count all those strokes. Let us have fun and kindle happiness! Stop what you are doing. Breathe deep. Be. As Sir P. G. Wodehouse offers, “To find a man’s character, play golf with him.”

 

LET US MOVE ON!

Posted on January 23, 2021

When was the last time you heard a politician say, “I am the one responsible for this screw-up.”? Clinging to false narratives with blaming, excuses, no desired results, CYA mentality, justifying, lying, denying, spinning, and defending simply produces more of the same. And when the choice is to do more of the same, the country will stay where it is—divided and teetering on the brink of collapse.

Many folks act as if this formula were true: Desired Results = Not Desired Results + Excuses. If the shoe fits, request that you wear it! Stop spinning those wheels and make a conscious choice not to give away power and influence by passing the buck, blaming, and justifying. It is a waste of time! There is a unifying option and better strategy: commitment to the concept of 100% responsibility, life happens because of me not to me. [Hyler Bracey, Jack Rosenblum, Aubrey Sanford & Roy Trueblood, Managing from the Heart, 1990, Atlanta, GA: Heart Enterprises; and training handout, “100% RESPONSIBILITY,” The Atlantic Consulting Group, 1986]

The concept of 100% responsibility is simple: I am 100% responsible for what happens; and other people are not responsible; not 50-50; not 100-100. It is 100-0! There is no one else to blame. Whatever happens, I did it. Whatever the result, I created it. Accepting what happens if you are 100% responsible, and others are 0% responsible, empowers one as opposed to making one dependent on other people and events. Imagine the power of the country if everyone were assuming 100% responsibility for its success. Imagine how refreshing it would be for every American to be examining what they did and what they could do rather than wasting energy getting off the hook. Perhaps the greatest value in 100% responsibility is that the focus moves to producing desired results and not wasting time finding ways to avoid responsibility. [Hyler Bracey, Jack Rosenblum, Aubrey Sanford & Roy Trueblood, Managing from the Heart, 1990, Atlanta, GA: Heart Enterprises; and training handout, “100% RESPONSIBILITY,” The Atlantic Consulting Group, 1986.]

In Beyond Religion (2011, NY, NY: Houghton, Mifflin, Harcourt, 83), the Dalai Lama offers wisdom,

…if we are really interested in tackling our problems at their roots—whether we are talking about human conflict, poverty, or environmental destruction—we must recognize that they are ultimately related to issues of ethics. Our shared problems do not fall from the sky, nor are they created by some higher force. For the most part, they are products of human action and human error. If human action can create these problems in the first place, then surely, we humans must have the capacity as well as the responsibility to find their solutions. The only way we can put them right is by changing our outlook and our ways, and by taking action.

With a commitment to the mantra, “I am 100% responsible,” important steps will have been made to empower each of us, to heal our great country, and to move forward today for generations to come. It is certainly not catastrophic to accept responsibility, determine what the issue is, determine what needs to be done to fix it, fix it, and move on.

“We the people…”

Posted on January 16, 2021

After completing a quick and dirty review of the Republican Party and Democratic Party platforms, partisan differences highlight the reality of limited and partial truths and the downsides of political party sorting as integral to individual and collective identity. Moreover, there are glaring inadequacies of both parties because of a lack of view big enough to address the complex issues facing America and global partners today. This certainly helps one understand partisan political division, discord, and complexity in today’s evolving, awakening, and growing world; and it reinforces why folks, including neighbors, are unable to agree on what America needs to unfold for generations to come. We are evolving and there are simply different levels of consciousness in our respective cultures and communities.

Just a few of the Republican (R) and Democratic (D) platform differences are as follows:

• Republicans have strands of egocentric and tend to be conservative, traditional, ethnocentric, and religious. Republicans point to an individual’s moral failings, poor decisions, and lack of motivation as the central reasons behind many social problems. A typical Republican-Conservative response to homelessness: cut free governmental handouts which will require homeless people to take responsibility for their own lives and get back to work. (Wilber, Patton, Leonard, Morelli, 2008. Integral Life Practice: A 21^st Century Blueprint for Physical Health, Emotional Balance, Mental Clarity, and Spiritual Awakening. Boston, MA: Integral Books, pages 114-15.)
• Democrats have strands of egocentric and tend to have progressive, worldcentric, and pluralistic worldviews. Democrats often blame many social ills on an unfair A Democratic-Liberal response to homeless: raise the budget for social welfare programs to create opportunities for those marginalized by an unjust economic system. (Wilber, Patton, Leonard, Morelli, 2008. Integral Life Practice: A 21^st Century Blueprint for Physical Health, Emotional Balance, Mental Clarity, and Spiritual Awakening. Boston, MA: Integral Books, pages 114-15.)

From www.nj.com, 1-14-21, “10 huge differences between Democratic and Republican platforms.”

• Abortion. R-abortion illegal; D-abortion legal.
• Same-sex Marriage. R-condemned Supreme Court decision; D-applauded Supreme Court decision.
• Immigration. R-wall along U.S.-Mexican border; D-path to citizenship, fix immigration system.
• Climate Change. R-doubts about climate change and intolerance of science; D-climate change is threat to economy, national security, and health for generations to come.
• Medicare. R-end health care program for elderly as we know it; enroll in private insurance or face limits on how much government will pay; D-allow Americans older than 55 to enroll.
• Wall Street. R-banking regulations are an excuse to establish government control over financial markets; D-implement, enforce, and build on banking regulations.
• Iran. R-gravely threatens security, interests, and survival of friends; D-relax sanctions, curb nuclear program.
• Israel. R-silent on two state solution; D-Palestinians govern themselves in own state.
• Money in Politics. R-repeal or raise contribution limits, hide donors; D-restrictions on corporate and union campaign spending.
• Voting Rights. R-impose voter identification rights; D-preserve fundamental right to vote.

Is there an option to political party sorting? Integral politics holds promise and offers a process perspective; a map of consciousness and human development; a way of comprehending life and reality in broad yet precise terms; a meta-theory that incorporates the core truths of hundreds of theories; and organizes the profound insights of the spiritual traditions, philosophy, modern science, developmental psychology, and many other disciplines, into a coherent whole. It simply integrates the perspectives that great thinkers, teachers, and researchers have brought to our understanding of self and world, the individual inner-mind and emotions-and outer-physical body-and the collective inner-family and culture- and outer-institutions. (Wilber, Patton, Leonard, Morelli, 2008. Integral Life Practice: A 21^st Century Blueprint for Physical Health, Emotional Balance, Mental Clarity, and Spiritual Awakening. Boston, MA: Integral Books, pages 9-10, 114-15.)

Despite all the characteristics that differentiate us—race, language, religion, gender, wealth, and many others—we are all equal in terms of our basic humanity…The problem is that when we see ourselves only in terms of this or that group, we tend to forget about our wider identity as human beings…A key element in biased feelings is what we call “attachment”…What I am calling for is that we move beyond our limited or biased sense of closeness to this or that group or identity, and instead cultivate a sense of closeness to the entire human family. The attitude of “us” and “them” can and often does lead to conflict, even war. Much better, and more realistic, is the attitude of “we.” (Dalai Lama, Beyond Religion: Ethics for a Whole World, 2011. NY, NY: Houghton, Mifflin, Harcourt, pages 29, 51, 52.)

The evolutionary impulse intends to transcend and include, to improve the political processes, and to resolve the political party sorting issues. We are interdependent, share humanity, and target for happiness and avoidance of suffering. Life is short! Let us nurture universal compassion and a sense of “We the people.”

 

INTEGRAL POLITICS

Posted on January 15, 2021

After completing a quick and dirty review of the Republican Party and Democratic Party platforms, partisan differences highlight the reality of limited and partial truths and the downsides of political party sorting as integral to individual and collective identity. Moreover, there are glaring inadequacies of both parties because of a lack of view big enough to address the complex issues facing America and global partners today. This certainly helps one understand partisan political division, discord, and complexity in today’s evolving, awakening, and growing world; and it reinforces why folks, including neighbors, are unable to agree on what America needs to unfold for generations to come. We are evolving and there are simply different levels of consciousness in our respective cultures and communities.

Just a few of the Republican (R) and Democratic (D) platform differences are as follows:

• Republicans have strands of egocentric and tend to be conservative, traditional, ethnocentric, and religious. Republicans point to an individual’s moral failings, poor decisions, and lack of motivation as the central reasons behind many social problems. A typical Republican-Conservative response to homelessness: cut free governmental handouts which will require homeless people to take responsibility for their own lives and get back to work. (Wilber, Patton, Leonard, Morelli, 2008. Integral Life Practice: A 21^st Century Blueprint for Physical Health, Emotional Balance, Mental Clarity, and Spiritual Awakening. Boston, MA: Integral Books, pages 114-15.)
• Democrats have strands of egocentric and tend to have progressive, worldcentric, and pluralistic worldviews. Democrats often blame many social ills on an unfair A Democratic-Liberal response to homeless: raise the budget for social welfare programs to create opportunities for those marginalized by an unjust economic system. (Wilber, Patton, Leonard, Morelli, 2008. Integral Life Practice: A 21^st Century Blueprint for Physical Health, Emotional Balance, Mental Clarity, and Spiritual Awakening. Boston, MA: Integral Books, pages 114-15.)

From www.nj.com, 1-14-21, “10 huge differences between Democratic and Republican platforms.”

• R-abortion illegal; D-abortion legal.
• Same-sex Marriage. R-condemned Supreme Court decision; D-applauded Supreme Court decision.
• R-wall along U.S.-Mexican border; D-path to citizenship, fix immigration system.
• Climate Change. R-doubts about climate change and intolerance of science; D-climate change is threat to economy, national security, and health for generations to come.
• R-end health care program for elderly as we know it; enroll in private insurance or face limits on how much government will pay; D-allow Americans older than 55 to enroll.
• Wall Street. R-banking regulations are an excuse to establish government control over financial markets; D-implement, enforce, and build on banking regulations.
• R-gravely threatens security, interests, and survival of friends; D-relax sanctions, curb nuclear program.
• R-silent on two state solution; D-Palestinians govern themselves in own state.
• Money in Politics. R-repeal or raise contribution limits, hide donors; D-restrictions on corporate and union campaign spending.
• Voting Rights. R-impose voter identification rights; D-preserve fundamental right to vote.

Is there an option to political party sorting? Integral politics holds promise and offers a process perspective; a map of consciousness and human development; a way of comprehending life and reality in broad yet precise terms; a meta-theory that incorporates the core truths of hundreds of theories; and organizes the profound insights of the spiritual traditions, philosophy, modern science, developmental psychology, and many other disciplines, into a coherent whole. It simply integrates the perspectives that great thinkers, teachers, and researchers have brought to our understanding of self and world, the individual inner and outer and the collective inner and outer. (Wilber, Patton, Leonard, Morelli, 2008. Integral Life Practice: A 21^st Century Blueprint for Physical Health, Emotional Balance, Mental Clarity, and Spiritual Awakening. Boston, MA: Integral Books, pages 9-10, 114-15.)

Despite all the characteristics that differentiate us—race, language, religion, gender, wealth, and many others—we are all equal in terms of our basic humanity…The problem is that when we see ourselves only in terms of this or that group, we tend to forget about our wider identity as human beings…A key element in biased feelings is what we call “attachment.” (Dalai Lama, Beyond Religion: Ethics for a Whole World, 2011. NY, NY: Houghton, Mifflin, Harcourt, pages 29, 51.)

The evolutionary impulse intends to transcend and include, to improve the political processes, and to resolve the political party sorting issues. We are interdependent, share humanity, and target for happiness and avoidance of suffering. Life is short!

 

TAKE A DEEP BREATH

Posted on January 9, 2021

Americans!! Stop what you are doing! Breathe deep; and be. Take a few moments to feel the experience.

Buy a pack of small stickers—any kind will do—and place a dozen or so around your home and office in noticeable places, such as your bathroom mirror, your computer, the back of your phone, on the book you are reading, your clock. Every time you see one of the stickers, stop what you are doing, breathe deep; and be. Take a few moments to feel the experience. (Catherine Price, Mindfulness, a Journal, New York, NY: Clarkson Potter)

As one prepares for each new day, we recognize there is a great deal to get done in the battle for the soul of the Nation and to evolve our individual and collective consciousness and culture. As one reflects on our interdependence, shared humanity, and aspiration to have happiness—financial viability, health, and companionship—and avoid suffering, a VISION of our “mighty task” might look something like this:

• We evolve with core values and guiding principles for inner self-regulation to promote those aspects of human nature we recognize as conducive to our own well being and that of others.
• We help others and the intention to improve is central to our evolutionary impulse.
• We have leaders who have a track record of positive leadership successes, are well-qualified, are trusted, are team players, and recognize leadership is an influence relationship that energizes earned power and inspires willingness to achieve mutually defined ends.
• We have limited government by the people and for the people.
• We are fiscally responsible and have economic stability and equity. The economy is thriving for working, middle-class families: teeming with jobs, union solidarity, small businesses, agriculture programs and processes, essential childcare, corporate sanity, sound trade relationships, social security system, tax equity and sanity, and long-term care and financial security programs for seniors.
• We ensure public safety and respect for law and order. No one is above the law. Communities are safe and inspire peaceful activities, including protests. Citizens and police are mutually respected; and violence on streets is not tolerated and is dealt with sanely.
• We are visibly committed to health, wellness, and well-being for all citizens. There is affordable healthcare and viable public health outreach that enables integral physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health, wellness, and well-being, coupled with honored per-existing conditions, decreasing drug prices, and necessary integral psychological health processes, including resolution of the opioid addiction.
• We manifest a globally envied education system—facilities, teachers, curriculum, and schools of choice—that creates evolving skills and talents for future generations.
• We are prepared for pandemics. Leadership, management, and control of pandemics is through the Centers for Disease Control, coupled with state public health entities and active support and interface with the World Health Organization.
• We foster strength in diversity, absence of systemic racism, and sane immigration. Racial, social justice, diversity, anti-racism, and women’s policies and programs model the way and evolve dismantling the conscious and unconscious pillars of racism.
• We have media sources who tell the truth, are objective, not self-serving and offer coverage that is in the best interests of the Nation. Lying and spinning media offerings are banned.
• We nurture controlled business ethical and moral issues; and science is respected.
• We have strong military, underwater, and space forces coupled with intelligence, technology leadership and sane gun laws. Veteran and veteran spouse-family-children benefits, outreach, integral psychological health, and combat veteran re-entry-transition programs are active.
• We build and maintain global alliances and reasoned foreign policy. National security and foreign policy are supported with an inspired State Department and reputable allies for strategic underwater, space, and military security. Coalition building is facilitated by trust, respect, and mutual goals.
• We have legal processes that are professional, objective, satisfy evolving cultural needs, and uphold the Constitution.
• We foster marriage and children policies that satisfy the level and stage of the culture’s evolution and right to choose.
• We honor freedom of religion and spiritual path.
• We actively lead climate change awareness, control, and leadership.
• We maintain state-of-the-art voting processes that manifest integrity and foster respect for democracy, the Constitution, and decentralized culture with empowered citizens.
• We maintain, re-build, and evolve infrastructure to meet current and future needs.

Partisanship is shaking the mighty pillars of our democracy! Destroying the other party is not a viable objective! We are all Americans, and we can each choose to transcend and include others. Climb on-board to get the healing job done and evolve the consciousness and culture of this great country forward. Rachel Kleinfield and Aaron Sobel (USA Today, Friday, July 24, 2020, page 7A) offer, “7 ways to reduce political polarization: Destroying the other side cannot be our goal.”

1. Call out your own party: speak truth to power and challenge your own tribe.
2. Avoid bad jokes: words matter, and they can perpetuate existing violence and cultivate preexisting grievances.
3. Make social media kinder: remove hateful messages, reduce the spread of hateful memes, and avoid prejudiced or polarizing speech.
4. Downplay the fringes and highlight the median: provide information that overturns party sorted beliefs and that reduces polarization. There may be less disagreement on policy issues than thought.
5. Emphasize disagreement within parties: most policy issues have a range of opinions within a party.
6. Help others imagine empathy: stories that encourage others to take the perspective of the other party can reduce prejudice.
7. Avoid repeating misinformation, even to debunk it: repetition leads the brain to think things are true; and there is a tendency to seek information that agrees with how one believes.

 Americans!! Stop what you are doing! Breathe deep; and be. Take a few moments to feel the experience. Together, let us move forward and get this job done! Quite simply, positive action that moves current reality closer to the VISION!!

 

STOP, BREATHE and BE

Posted on January 3, 2021

Have been reflecting on memorable golf course “brand” experiences over the years; and impression and guest service rise to the top of the heap of sensual brand attributes that create a residual, ego-mind thirst to return.

Impression: clean, well-maintained and fun place to be because it inspires a “feel good” sensation.

• Grounds and facilities: plush green turf and well-manicured landscape; parking lot is clean, well-striped and has a good surface: note number of cars.
• Signage and identification: useful—what and/or where, in good taste and well-placed: parking, bag drop, club house, rest rooms; warm-up, practice and instruction area; practice golf balls; 1^st and 10^th
• Warm-up, practice and instruction area: unobstructed, inviting and spacious. Range has accurate distance markers; putting green accommodates several golfers; and short game area has targets and a bunker that allows sand shots either to the range or to a putting green.
• Pro shop: customer friendly with open and spacious feel. Has good selection, tasteful merchandising and new merchandise from recognized manufacturers; offers club fitting, club storage and club repair services; present are flyers offering golf lessons, clinics, demonstrations and seminars.
• Postings and feedback requests: today’s pin locations are visibly posted; local rules, pace-of-play and etiquette reminders are posted and available as handouts for golfers. Guest service evaluation surveys are available at check-in counter.
• Food and beverage area: organized, attractive, clean and not cluttered. Menu is visible and inviting.
• Course: flat, well-groomed teeing grounds with attractive hole number markers, ball washers and tee markers; good greens, fairways and roughs; manicured and recently maintained bunkers with good rakes; and course is free of mixed grasses and weeds.
• Drinking fountains and rest rooms: clean, well-maintained and well-serviced.
• Maintenance facility: not cluttered and organization is noteworthy; equipment is clean, not worn-out, appears serviceable and expresses pride of mechanics and groundskeepers.

Guest service: guests are well taken care of by professional, experienced, courteous staff who pay attention to details that make sparkling, positive and lasting guest experiences.

• Initial contact and attitude: friendly, upbeat, happy and enthusiastic. Individuals make eye contact, smile, greet, enquire, offer products and services, respond to requests, follow-up and do not make excuses and blame others. Reminds of Tolstoy’s diary comment, “I cannot describe a person to you; however, I call tell you what effect he (she) has on me.”
• Leadership and management: impression and felt energy that is witnessed.

A round of golf is a simple “slice of life” and a field of friendly strife where seeds are planted to bear fruits at future times and places. George Heard, a great golf partner and friend, always said on the first tee, “Golf is just a slice of heaven.” Simply embrace the challenge and opportunity for perfect response to life, or heaven on earth. Stop what you are doing, breathe deep, be, become and feel the experience!

CHANGE and TRANSITION

Posted on December 29, 2020

Stop what you are doing, breathe deep, and be!  Now notice the experience of endings, new beginnings, changes, and transitions, the psychological adjustments to changes.

It was October 21, 2020. A shock! Yes, like a meteor hitting earth outside a bedroom window! It was 6:00 PM, Cindy, wife and soulmate of 48 plus years, and I had finished our daily exercise and evening meal and were sitting in lounge chairs in the living room watching CNN Cuomo Prime Time. Cindy glanced at me and commented she had a painful bubble in her abdomen. She tried to belch, took tums, took Gas-X, and lay on a pillow on her stomach on the living room floor. In a few minutes, she hurried to the bathroom and threw up: having had a similar issue before, neither of us was alarmed. After several more trips to vomit, she was waving her arms and in much pain. She tried to lie down flat on the bed in the bedroom and commented that she needed help. Something was wrong! The decision: call an ambulance or make the 20-minute car trip to Banner Baywood Medical Center Emergency Room (ER). We decided to make the trip via car; and arrived ER about 9 PM.

ER did not appear to be busy: now in a wheelchair, Cindy was promptly admitted, and care began. X-rays, CT Scan, pain killers, nose-stomach decompression tube, and IV’s with diagnosis of an intestinal block. On October 22, about 3 AM, Cindy was moved to Room 410; and had emergency surgery about 8 AM. Several years earlier a right breast mastectomy required a tram flap ablation, with mesh reinforcement of incision closure, generating scar tissue that had caused an internal hernia, catalyzing a closed loop obstruction of the small intestine.

“These are the times that try men’s souls!” Wife and soulmate of 48 plus years has emergency surgery and the surgeon offers Cindy has a 50/50 chance of surviving. This gets one’s attention, is a strong message and stirs conscious mind suffering and a litany about what could have been done better, said differently and what will be missed. Wilber et al offer,

Time spent struggling with oneself, especially in the vicious recycling of negative thoughts, attitudes, and feelings, binds energy and attention and impedes growth…When you see that you’ve been blindly self-possessed, and that you’ve wasted valuable time and created suffering in others and yourself, and you feel disgusted and ashamed-that’s great! You do not have to defend, remedy, or explain it. Appreciate and welcome this precious awareness. It brings the opportunity to make a new and different choice in the next moment.

Toughest issue of my life: being with a loved one who is suffering; and there is not a thing one can do but touch the forehead, touch the boxing gloved hands, keep her from pulling the ventilator tube up, feel the neck, kiss the forehead, kiss the lips. She acknowledged with tears, waved hands, and wanted to speak. She responded to telephone text videos, would wake up momentarily, and return to sleep; she continued to have heart issues and frequently vomited. Yes, toughest issue of my life: being with a loved one who is suffering; and not able to help them not suffer. All one can do is touch, breathe deep, acknowledge, feel, be there and notice the experience. As Naropa University divinity-hospice care classmates were told, “Just hold their hand.”

Amid COVID-19 visiting restrictions, over a period of 43 days, there were three surgeries, septic shock, peritonitis, IV’s, nose decompression tubes, ventilators, three different hospital floors, several hospital rooms, operating room, ICU, numerous doctors, nurses and hospital staff, blood samples, x-rays, CT scans, MRI’s, medications, cardioversion and shock treatments, approval of transfusions and two weeks at a rehabilitation facility. And step two of the transitions was just underway: Cindy came home December 2 to a new beginning as a small bowel syndrome patient (loss of 15 cm ascending colon and cecum; loss of 170 cm ileum and loss of the ileocecal valve) with home healthcare and a husband “caretaker in-training.”

Our work-in-process “game plan” includes Cindy’s mantra—I am a perfectly healthy, wellbeing and am committed to integral health and wellness, simply program the subconscious mind, positively, with hope and optimism, in six dimensions: mind and emotions; physical body; relationships; socially; institutionally; and by helping others. The “game plan” includes objectives: to enjoy the Small Bowel Syndrome diet; to target for optimum food and fluid absorption; to sleep well; to face post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms that may manifest; to have human systems functioning properly for the new reality; and to be independent and have quality of life. Some of the dimensions that have surfaced for possible change and psychological adjustment include diet, food, grocery shopping, and eating out; medications and nutrients; exercise program; COVID-19 avoidance; intimate relationship and sexuality; family; piano and music; Starbucks; golf; finances, money, and insurance; and medical team coordination. There are measurable outcomes, too: reduced stool frequency for optimal enteral absorption; improved stool consistency and fluid balance [improved urine output; prevent effects of dehydration and renal compromise]; sense of improved control, well-being, and quality of life; and nutritional autonomy.

Cindy is experiencing and learning what a small bowel syndrome patient is; and the author is experiencing and learning what a small bowel syndrome caretaker is. We both need to take one step at a time, ask for help, as necessary, and face everything and avoid nothing: life holds the dance cards, just dance to the dance card played, targeting to be one with the dance card and music. Simply, be open to and accept the evolution of a multitude of endings, transitions-adjustments, and new beginnings. Am experiencing that there is no better self-awareness coach and opportunity than serving a loved one: sit in the flames, the joy, hopes, the tears and fears and cherish each moment and experience. Stop what you are doing, breathe deep and be! Notice the experience!

 

 

GOLF as GURU

Posted on December 27, 2020

For every shot the golfer needs to evolve a Ritual for creating a personal teepee where the mind becomes clear and quiet [Shoemaker, F. (1996). Extraordinary Golf. NY, NY: Pedigree] and the programmed subconscious is given absolute trust to deliver a shot. In 1929 legendary Bobby Jones remarked,

 The golf swing is a most complicated combination of muscular actions, too complex to be controlled by objective conscious mental effort. Consequently, we must rely a good deal upon the instinctive reactions acquired by long practice. It has been my experience that the more completely we can depend upon this instinct—the more thoroughly we can divest the subjective mind of conscious control, the more exclusion of all thoughts as to method—is the secret of a good shot…After taking the stance, it is too late to worry. The only thing to do is to hit the ball. [Gallwey, W. (1998). The Inner Game of Golf. NY, NY: Random, 19-20]

It could be argued that pulling the trigger to make the shot is the most critical of all elements of the shot cycle; and it may be the simplest, and yet, possibly the most difficult because it must be done without thinking and with absolute trust of the subconscious to perform to expectations. As we settle to create the space bubble—the state of quiet presence—we are deliberately breathing. The Ritual is automatic and is the one distinct stimulus that will trigger and coordinate all the elements that facilitate potential emergence of the peak performance state. We are empty and the trigger is absently pulled.

This evolving master skill is individually unique and is the state of being present, tension-free, with that which is intended, for as long as intended. [Shoemaker, F. (2007). Extraordinary Putting, NY, NY: Penguin, 8-10] Summon the inner artist for a remarkable and often indescribable zone experience of spiritual oneness; and be witness to freedom and an intuitive unleashing of a unique, creative, synchronous flow of human physical activity. Simply relax and put your awareness where your deepest natural breathing originates—sensed image approximately 1½ inches below your navel. Let breathing be deep and full, shake loose any tension in the muscles, and trust that as center is experienced—seamless unity of body, mind and spirit setting the stage for “sweet impact” and zone performance—well-practiced actions will result naturally without effort. A “quick and dirty,” Ritual checklist might include:

• Take a couple of deep, elevating breaths and visualize energy circulating between your feet and the earth below you. Feel static and dynamic balance and sense a balanced and solid foundation; and connect with the environment surrounding you.
• Take three-five short, explosive breaths into the upper chest to activate the sympathetic nervous system, increase oxygen and intensify subtle energy currents. Charge the whole body, physically and emotionally, preparing for the exertion to come: make a final visual touch of the target.
• On an out-breath, one-pointed concentration on the point of impact of club with ball—mindfulness—channeling all body energies into a laser beam of relaxed, focused concentration, letting go of everything—self-restraint—and sensing the synchronous, flowing swing to impact with a ball creatively floating to the target—awareness.

Squeeze Trigger: With passion burning, the captain of the ship squeezes the auto-pilot button and trusts the programmed subconscious to creatively deliver a ball to an intended target.

A good athlete can enter a state of body-awareness in which the right stroke or the right movement happens by itself, effortlessly, without any interference of the conscious will. This is the paradigm for non-action: the purest and most effective form of action. The game plays the game; the poem writes the poem; we can’t tell the dancer from the dance. [Mitchell, S. (2006). tao te ching. NY, NY: Harper, viii.]

Don’t forget to check-in with Woody and Birdy Ball, Golf as Guru, www.johnedwindevore.com.

 

 

 

 

MIND”FULL”NESS

Posted on December 17, 2020

Why write Golf as Guru: Mindfullness, Awareness and Self-Restraint? WOW! What a learning journey golf has opened for a student of life and the game of golf, all the way from growing up in Northwestern Ohio playing golf with Mom and Dad, circling the globe and arriving here in Arizona continuing to play golf, year-round with my wonderful wife of almost 50 years. As the title and subtitle offer, the sport of golf has been a great coach and teacher; has evolved a concept of mind”full”ness; has breathed a peek at how awareness really differentiates professional golfers from average golfers; and has been a mighty fine instructor when it comes to the learned skill of self-restraint. It really is fantastic to remain sane after two shots in the lake to the right of the fairway! Everything is OK the way it is!

A significant experience has been that if a golfer is open to new learning and is psychologically ready, golf offers infinite messages: at practice on the range; on the golf course; while perking reflections about the sport and relishing golf literature; and just sitting in silence and solitude to experience personal behavior in life and on the golf course. Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse, a widely read English author and scriptwriter, nails it: “To find a man’s character (and personality), play golf with him.” Woody and Birdy Ball, Golf as Guru’s entertaining characters, chuckle on every page as they think about playing partners and continue to dream about a 45-degree hip turn and 90-degree shoulder turn on every tee shot; and contemplate smoothness, timing, tempo and rhythm on every putt.

Golf as Guru is simply a thank you to golf as coach and therapist. It is indeed integral and reminds of General Douglas MacArthur, in the context of football at West Point, when he remarked, “Upon the fields of friendly strife are sown the seeds that at other times and places reap the fruits of victory.”

SUBCONSCIOUS MIND

Posted on December 12, 2020

As a student of golf, trusting the subconscious mind to swing the golf club has evolved a growing passion to be more positive, to learn and to improve because the game is the “funest” and “bestest” ever. Placing swing thoughts on a bus to Tucson, giving clear “desired results” to the subconscious and passionately connecting the conscious mind with the subconscious mind is a completely new, exciting experience.

An innate desire to have the complicated golf swing “perfect” and growing awareness of the powers of the subconscious has energized interest in learning more about how the subconscious mind can be programmed—mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually—to facilitate improved performance. Christian D. Larson offers,

 When we proceed to train the subconscious along any line, or for special results, we must always comply with the following law: The subconscious responds to the impressions, the suggestions, the desires, the expectations and the directions of the conscious mind, provided that the conscious touches the subconscious at the time. The secret therefore is found in the two phases of the mind touching each other as directions are being made; and to cause the conscious to touch the subconscious, it is necessary to feel conscious action penetrating your entire interior system; that is, you should feel at the time that you are living not simply on the surface, but through and through. At such times, the mind should be calm and in perfect poise, and should be conscious of that finer, greater something within you that has greater depth than mere surface existence. (Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them, page 41)

Some recent reflections concerning facilitation of subconscious programming are as follows:

[NOTE: This golfer stakes no claim on being a subconscious mind programming expert!!]

• Positive and improvement language is a must. This is the law of attraction at work: as Golf as Guru partners Woody and Birdy Ball coach, one gets back what one puts out through personality, character and mind.
• Relaxed concentration—all forces of mind, character and personality are focused on the desired result—and a clear and quiet conscious mind are a must.
• Visualization: picture in the conscious mind a clear idea of the desired result.
• Energize deep, “must have,” “must do,” serene, strong and passionate connection of the conscious mind with the inner human systems: see it, feel it, taste it, smell it, think it, touch it in the eleven human systems: circulatory, respiratory, digestive, excretory, nervous, endocrine, immune, lymphatic, integumentary/exocrine, skeletal, muscle, reproductive, renal and urinary. Simply feel the meaning of the desired result with consciousness; and see and feel in every atom of the human system the ball at the target. Eliminate doubt; and be calm, “…well balanced, persistent, deeply poised and harmonious in all thoughts and actions.” (Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them, page 46)
• Think of all the facilities being used in golf when giving full expression to a desired result: body mechanics, club mechanics, ball position and target. This golfer likes mantras: I am…
• Begin days with positive, desired result ways and means. Bring everything alive in the conscious and subconscious minds several times per day.
• Go to sleep relaxed: review the day’s pleasantries; and chat with the subconscious about desired results and ways and means.
• If there are skills that need work and development, direct the subconscious with necessary improvements every day as frequently as possible and before going to sleep.
• Practice makes perfect: mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. The more one trains the subconscious to work with the conscious direction, the easier it becomes to get the subconscious to respond to directions.
• “Whenever the subconscious mind is aroused, mental power and working capacity are invariably increased, sometimes to such an extent that the individual seems to be possessed with a superhuman power.” (Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them, page 43)

As mentioned, working with the subconscious mind is a new experience for this golfer; and I make absolutely no claim to be a subconscious mind expert. A commitment is to keep you informed about progress experiences. “Know what you want, and then want it with all the life and power that is in you.” (Christian D. Larson, Your Forces and How to Use Them, page 81)